I keep hearing theories on why the Saints were playing so badly and how to fix it. Drew’s hurt and hiding it. The receiving corps is injured and hiding it. The O-Line is pulling a Charles Grant. The Saints need to keep running it. The Saints need to go downfield more often. My sister-in-law even heard this in the Dome restroom: “You know what it’s like to have two babies around? Drew needs his own apartment!”
Man cave aside, it’s clear that the Saints, particularly Brees, are playing tight. But Payton has a knack for getting them up and prepared for big games, and there are none bigger so far this season. If I were Payton, I’d want to inject a little more fun, some smiley good times, somehow, just so they team plays loose. He’s good at impressions. Maybe he should show the team his impression of Rothlisberger trying out pick-up lines? “Wanna know why they call me Big Ben?”
Maybe we’ll see a repeat of last year’s Patriots shellacking? Or maybe Pittsburgh will make Cleveland look like the crappy team they are. Who knows? That’s the problem. Which team will show up? The bad ass Saints from the Tampa game? Or the not ready for prime time version we’ve seen in this year’s losses?
I was having too easy a time playing Madden on the All-Pro level. It’s a good game against the Steelers, but the Saints invariably pull away late. We all know that’s not going to happen. The real Saints are playing teams who have stepped up their game, so I figured I had better do the same with my opponents. So, here we go…
Steelers get the ball first and march down the field easily, too easily, finishing with a 44-yd Heath Miller run and catch. He breaks about 80 tackles on the way to the end zone, adding insult to injury. So it’s going to be like that, eh, Madden? Saints respond with an 80-yard drive. Ivory’s big on first and second downs, and he scores on a play action catch on third and goal from the two. All tied up 7-7. How you doin’, Madden? You like that? You like that? Pittsburgh wants to pass, Saints want to blitz – Sack!!! Second and long, incomplete. Third and long, sack! Fumble! But the Steelers recover at their own 9. Why is that not surprising? A missed opportunity that will come back to haunt me.
The defenses take over for the next few series, resulting in four consecutive punts. Lots of drops, particularly from Meacham and Shockey. Lots of Steelers in the backfield on running plays. Finally, the Saints get some offense going, with slants to Colston and Henderson on blitzes for big first downs. Fourth and goal from the three, Shockey in the flat, touchdown! Saints up 14-7 with two minutes to play in the half. Rothlisberger throws a bomb from the 20 (!) and Mike Wallace comes up with it on the nine despite being draped by three defenders. Are you f-ing kidding me??!!! You cheat Madden!!! (The battle cry of the suffering gamer – ED.) Former Green Waver Mewelde Moore runs through another 80 tackles on the next play to tie up the game with fifty four seconds left in the half. Horses@$t!!! You cheaaat!!
From the shotgun, Shockey’s open over the middle to the Saints 45. Next play, Ivory on a curl to the Pittsburgh 32. Forty seconds left. Brees deep to Colston – Touchdown!! Saints up 21-14. Rothlisberger quickly gets the Steelers in position for a 50-yard FG attempt, but it’s just wide. Halftime. Whew! (Seriously? Two touchdowns and an attempted field goal in the last two minutes? Between these teams? I’m starting to question someone’s game. – ED.)
The third quarter is scoreless with a series of defensive stands. Saints D finally gets a turnover on a sack/fumble on the Pittsburgh 40 – but the offense can’t capitalize. Fourth quarter is more of the same until Brees is sack/fumbled on his own twenty and the Steelers recover with just over two minutes left. Mendenhall up the middle, 28 Saints stop him behind the line, but somehow he squirts out of the pile to score. Really??!!! Game’s tied up, 21 all.
Saints have to punt, but run out most of the clock, thirty seconds left. Pittsburgh gets the ball on the Saints 42. Third and long, the deep bomb to Hines Ward, in double coverage. Touchdown Steelers. No time left. Saints lose 28-21. GFY Madden. You too, Rothlisberger. Player of the game is R. Mendenhall: 12 attempts, 128 yards, and one TD. There are no highlights to show you. Just a bunch of horses@$t!
Looking forward to: Who Cares?
Not looking forward to: Why Bother?
Media Prediction: Screw them.
Madden Tip: I hate the Steelers!!! I hate (unintelliglble) stupid Steelers. I hate
football!!! I hate football!!!!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bLyjcXQmF0[/youtube]
Rock Tip: Come see Supagroup at Voodoo this Saturday, 10/30/10, in the Bingo! Parlour at 7:45 p.m.
