On a recent moonlit evening, Bunny Matthews was summoned to the Old City Icehouse in the French Quarter, where Dr. Momus Alexander Morgus, abetted by his idiot mute assistant Chopsley, was delivering the following pronouncement concerning his long-awaited CD. Those fans seeking further guidance are advised to examine Dr. Morgus’ web site at www.morgus.com—if their hearts are not overly faint.

Chopsley, turn down that rock music! We have a little review going on here. We’ve got to sell our CD to the world and, by the way, this CD is a limited edition. This CD will be available in all the stores, especially the intellectual CD stores. It’s not only limited to intellectuals but limited in the number that we have produced and so therefore, it’s going to become a major collector’s item. There’s 30 years in the making here—we’ve put some thought into this.

The trouble with the world today is that they don’t realize that everyone in it is terminal. Your day is coming, too, just like everybody else’s. Unless—unless the money that comes from this CD helps scientists like myself come up with ways to keep us alive. That’s what it’s all about.

How is this going to benefit science? Well, as you know, M.A.M.I.—the Momus Alexander Morgus Institute—is, well, financially-impaired. To be very honest, we’re broke. We don’t take grants from the federal government or any kind of hand-outs. We have to raise money and so we have to come up with things like this CD. You know, I came up with a lot of things that were stolen from me, including the Internet. I’m the one that created the Internet. Al Gore and the Pentagon took credit for it.

I’m working on a few things right now. In fact, Chopsley came up with an idea: mouse-flavored cat food. I think we’ll make some money. Nobody’s ever thought of that. See, even an idiot like Chopsley, working around me, comes up with things like this. He gets an education daily. People say Chopsley’s a slave. No, Chopsley works pro bono. He took a vow of poverty. That’s not slavery because he gets an education working with me.

Hearse-ly Rhymes is really a classic idea—a collection of poems from the grave. Have you ever heard of poems from the grave? No, nobody has. So, you see, this CD is one-of-a-kind. It’s going to go out in about 75 languages and I can speak about 50 languages. I’m going to do this CD all over the world but New Orleans is the big place for us to kick this off. This is why I want to make sure that everyone gets a copy before we run out.

Many people have asked about the Sign of the Higher Order. In order to get the answer to that, you have to be on a certain level. You have to be brought into the organization and there is a certain group of people who are in the organization called the Higher Order. Many of them are on the planet. You know some of them. Their names are very prominent. They know what that symbol is all about: it’s an eye looking through three fingers. There’s a very important symbol there that carries each member to full dedication for what we’re all about.

We’re about making the world a better place. We’re trying to get the world eradicated of idiots. As you can see, that’s a tough job. The world is full of idiots. Educated idiots I’m talking about. The poor idiots—we can handle them. It’s the educated idiots that I have trouble with.

Dr. John is one of our patients and he comes in once in a while and we take care of him. He was very instrumental breaking out with the Morgus 45 back in the ’60s. Of course, it helped escalate him to prominence and he’s very grateful for that. I think Frankie Ford and some of Fats Domino’s musicians were also on that record.

One track on our new CD is “Spook House Sounds from the Grave”—”they” demanded that. Everybody knows who “they” are. “They” have been responsible for most of the problems in the world. We have an inter-celestial communicator that can pick up those sounds from the grave at a different level and we have recorded those sounds for posterity or your next party.

You know, New Orleans loves food and drink so we thought of putting “The Creep Suzette” in there: “It’s a dish so fine that you serve only with a blood-red wine—oh, how it’ll fill your heart with glee to work on such a recipe…” It’s sort of an intellectual hip-hop type of thing, kind of a rap with meter…a rap-sody!

I wish to announce that I have found a way of exploring my own DNA and isolating all of the aging chromosomes. As you can notice, I have not changed in 40 years. The life insurance companies are not going to like to hear this! Please—buy this CD and allow my work to continue.