I find myself getting into a lot more philosophical discussions these days, with people I barely know.
I’ve developed into quite a pontificator in my old age, but there’s some Mardi Gras knowledge that only age and time on the planet provide: experience.

So: Don’t climb up the poles on Bourbon Street to try to get to a balcony. They are likely to be greased with Vaseline or some other noxious slimy substance to keep you from doing same, slipping down and cracking your head open. A slide down is also likely to mess up your costume or shred your beads.

Do not miss early morning on Bourbon Street. That’s when all the really great costumes are out and about, and before the general crowds are too rowdy to mess them up.

Do not miss the 52nd Annual Bourbon Street Awards, starting at noon on Saint Ann and Dumaine. Categories of costumes to be paraded at the awards include “Best Drag,” “Best Leather,” “Best Group” and “Best of Show,” with first, second and third cash prizes in all categories.

To continue to party throughout the day, trade off your Hand Grenade with a big fat glass of water. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.

Please do not pee in public (dudes, bring your own jug if you have to). Believe it or not, the NOPD is more sensitive to this infraction of the rules, and will bust you easier than if they catch you in a cloud of pot smoke. (By the way, the NOPD has my utmost respect, especially during Mardi Gras. What other police force could handle the crowds and general craziness?)

Please leave all your weapons at home. All we need are some knuckleheads fighting over turf, women, drugs or what-have-you during Mardi Gras when crowds abound. You’re much more likely to cause yourself damage than be able to “defend” yourself. Please.

Head to Frenchmen Street post-closing of Bourbon at midnight, but give all us music-lovers a big break and save your puking and bonfires.

Can we please get over the “Show your tits” line? If you really must bare your beautiful (NOT) breasts at Mardi Gras for a string of less-than-a-cent plastic beads, well, girlfriend, you have issues. And remember that someone, somewhere, will be snapping a lewd photo of you to post to social media. Just remember that the next time you interview for a job or a promotion. The days of privacy are over. You flash ’em, you live with the ignominy forever.

And then there’s Jazz Fest. The day we went to press, they announced the initial lineup. It’s gotten earlier and earlier, and as can be expected there are some real winners in the pack. We posted online immediately, but we have a few comments from our web editor, Sam D’Arcangelo, we’d like to share on page 13.