Costuming, in New Orleans, is a religion. This religion has two high holy days–Halloween and Mardi Gras. Halloween is reserved for scary, outrageous and/or sexy costumes while Mardi Gras is the time when devotees opt for the simply outrageous and/or sexy. At Halloween, one can be a slutty cheerleader with a slashed jugular vein; at Mardi Gras, being a slutty cheerleader (if you’re male) is enough to satisfy the tenets of doctrine.

The religion of costuming has many denominations. One of New Orleans’ most fervent sects is MOMs–the Mystic Orphans and Misfits. In the group’s Sacred Text, it is written: "We believe that revelation before the Divine will come only to those who manifest their Inner Selves, so mundane clothes are never worn on feast days; that the Divine deserves the best a MOM can muster, so the costume should be superbly conceived; that the Divine is offended by waste and ostentation, so the costume should be made from formerly mundane and inexpensive materials; and that the Inner Self is in constant evolution, so the same costume is never worn twice."

Don’t even think about showing up at a MOMs function sans costume–unless your body is sans clothing. Less is more is the rule. According to MOMs High Priestess Sharon Goodson, "Remember, at MOMs, nudity is always considered a viable costume. If you take your clothes off, it’s a viable costume."

Halloween, or All Hippies Eve (as the MOMs prefer), is when MOMs stages one of its two costume balls, held this year at Howlin’ Wolf on October 28 and featuring music by Ricky Castrillo, the new Tommy Malone Band (with Johnny Vidacovich on the drummer’s throne) and commencing at approximately 1:30 a.m., Deep Banana Blackout. Blackout, a Connecticut (what?) funk band led by guitarist The Fuzz, will debut its new lead singer, Hope Clayburn, at the MOMs gig. Clayburn was hired after the band unsuccessfully solicited vocalists from the New Orleans area, unable to find any local singer willing to give up red beans and humidity for New England Puritanism.

The theme of the MOMs Halloween Ball 2000 is "Predilections of Nostra-MOM-us," with such sub-themes as "The Martyrs of MOMs" and "The Four Whores-men of the A-pork-alypse." Admission to the extravaganza is $22 for the general, costumed public and $15 for costumed MOMs members with all profits from the event going to a community reeducation program entitled "DARE to Keep Cops Off Doughnuts." And don’t forget your loose change. As Ms. Goodson advised us: "People should bring plenty of quarters because our fortune teller, Claire Voyeur, is going to give sexual predictions."

See me, feel me

In a reprise of the astounding recital of the Who’s Tommy DJ Davis and associates staged this past summer at the Mermaid Lounge, the troupe returns with five new performances of the rock opera at the Rock ‘N’ Bowl Café on October 6, 7 and 8 (shows at 7 p.m., with 2 p.m. matinees on Saturday and Sunday).

As Davis has pointed out, most local musical/theatrical productions suffer because musicians with chops are usually in bands performing on the road or in barrooms. For Tommy, Davis has assembled a dream team of players, including Carlo Nuccio as the perverted Uncle Ernie; Kevin O’Day as Cousin Kevin; Sista Teedy as the Acid Queen; Myshkin as Tommy (Davis had added a new cross-dressing element to his version of the opera); Debbie Davis (no relation to either DJ Davis, Spencer Davis or Jimmie "You Are My Sunshine" Davis) as Tommy’s mother (her assault by baked beans, chocolate syrup and Champagne is a highlight) and erstwhile gossip columnist Chris Rose as the Doctor. The backing musicians include bassist Matt Perrine, guitarists Alex "The Little Rock Star That Could" McMurray and Chris Mulé, and DJ Davis himself on keyboards, as well as portraying the Pinball Wizard. Keith Moon, the Who’s hotel room-wrecking drummer, will be present in spirit.

Riptide

We are totally unable to discern when Bill Davis, the leader of Dash Rip Rock, is kidding. Every once in a while, he announces that the band no longer exists and then a few hours later, we hear that Dash Rip Rock is headlining a Monster Truck Festival in Cullman, Alabama or a wet t-shirt contest at a women’s prison in Kentucky. Davis recently sent us Dash’s latest CD, Hits And Giggles, which is supposed to be a Danish release and we have to admit that there does seem to be some sort of foreign language printed on the disc: "Den amerikanske trio Dash Rip Rock er berygtede…" What’s for certain is that this is the all-time greatest hits collection of Dash’s rowdy works, available only at Dash Rip Rock shows or through the band’s official web site, www.dashriprock.com.

All the songs you’re afraid to admit you love are included: "(Let’s Go) Smoke Some Pot" (wherein many of rock’s most notorious weedheads are called by name); "Liquor Store" (which involves the fantasy of being locked in a liquor store with someone desirable); "Pussywhipped" (P.C., in Dash’s world, means "pretty cocky"); and that tribute to the Land of the Pharaohs, "Bumfuck Egypt." You don’t have to be drunk to enjoy it. On second thought, you do.

PUSSYGALORE

We commute over 100 miles a day, a situation that requires music of an–ahem!–aggressive nature. This month’s road rage remedy is Constellation`, the new CD from Alabama Thunder Pussy, a Virginia-based metallic band not to be confused with Nashville Pussy.

ATP’s music is mostly slow, throbbing stuff with unintelligible lyrics spit out by permanently hoarse vocalist Johnny Throckmorton. If Satan was from below the Mason-Dixon line, chewed tobacco and lived in a trailer next to an illegal chemical dump, he would sound something like this. Hear for yourself when Alabama Thunder Pussy invades the Dixie Tavern on October 2. Daisy Dukes de rigueur.

Coconutty

If you’re in the market for a really hip fusion of Latin and Teutonic sounds, might we suggest the recent El Baile Alemán from Señor Coconut y Su Conjunto. What it is is Kraftwerk’s robotic melodies performed with a Latin twist of lime. It’s totally nuts! "Autobahn" gets the cumbia/merengue treatment; "Showroom Dummies" goes cha-cha-chá! Not since Xavier Cugat has there been Latin music as "wack" as this.

Famous Phamous

Jovial jazz pianist and singer Phamous J. Lambert departed this world on September 16. He was born in Thibodaux, lived in Chicago for many years and resided in New Orleans for the past 18 years, performing for most of that time with the Dukes of Dixieland. Lambert was 82 years old.