Forgive me, patient readers, as this month I’m taking a respite from this “ranter’s column” and moving on to lighter subjects. Okay, just a little rant–will somebody please give us all a break from the media-fueled mania on MTV’s “The Real World”? Real world, my ass: show me twentysomethings who choose to live in an old house in New Orleans (on St. Charles Avenue, yeah, right!), and I’ll show you roommates sleeping on old mattresses on the floor (not on designer beds), lotsa roaches (of all varieties, if you know what I mean), buckets of sweat, greasy hair, inadequate air conditioning, funky parties, old jalopies (don’t want to get a new car either wrecked or bottomed-out in a pothole), cool funky music, and people who love New Orleans so much they’ll sleep in 95 degree heat and humidity just to stay here. Hot tubs in the back yard? Gimme a break!

Hey, the exposure for New Orleans is great, but why don’t they film the REAL denizens of New Orleans? They’re a million times more interesting than the pretty polished faces you see on TV. End of rant.

The Rhythm & Blues Foundation recently announced that Huey “Piano” Smith is one of the recipients of its Pioneer Awards, to be presented on September 6 at the Manhattan Center in New York, along with Clyde Otis, Sylvia Robinson and Betty Wright.

Huey “Piano” Smith, with vocal group the Clowns, recorded some of the R&B classics of the ’50s including “Rockin’ Pneumonia and the Boogie-Woogie Flu,” “Don’t You Just Know It” and “High Blood Pressure.” The New Orleans R&B pianist began playing professionally at age 15. During the early ’50s, Smith played sessions for Lloyd Price, Smiley Lewis and Little Richard. Throughout the ’60s, he toured with three different groups, the Pitter Pats, the Hueys, and the Clowns and recorded on the Instant label.

The R&B Foundation will also honor Ahmet Ertegun with the First Annual Founders Award, recognizing the record executive for his years of dedication and service. Ertegun, through Atlantic Records, donated the initial seed money that started the R&B Foundation in 1989 and has been an active advocate and board member for the life of the Foundation.

On June 15, local chanteuse Kim Carson won the Baton Rouge local competition in the True Value Country Showdown. The competition was hosted by WXCT-FM 100.7 at the Texas Club in Baton Rouge. Playing with Kim were Chris Luckette (formerly of the Cold) on drums, Doug Waguespack on bass and Dwight Breland on pedal steel and lead guitar. They performed two songs which Kim wrote, “Burned By An Old Flame” and “Going Back to Louisiana.” Kim will advance to the State Competition which will be held in New Orleans on Saturday, Sept. 16th at the New Orleans Convention Center. Lorrie Morgan will headline the state competition. The winner of the State competition advances to the regional competition Oct. 17th at Silver Dollar City in Branson, MO. The regional winner advances to the national finals in a nationally televised broadcast. Congratulations go out to Kim Carson and the Casualties and good luck in the future competitions.

New Orleans R&B treasure Frankie Ford suffered head and eye lacerations, requiring several stitches, after a Fredericksburg, VA concert on June 17th The attack was by an as yet unknown assailant, and took place at the hotel where he had just left his limousine.

Ford’s manager Ken Keene told OffBeat that the suspect “was probably someone who saw Frankie getting out of a limousine, well-dressed, jewelry, briefcase in hand, and Frankie looked like a good mark. We really don’t know, it’s all pure speculation at this point.

“Frankie is doing much better, his eye is open, as it was swollen shut when he landed at New Orleans airport… still heavy bruises and some swelling, as well as lacerations, scratches, etc.” But Keene says Ford will still go to Vienna, Austria to perform with the Dixie Cups and Troy Shondell. “The show must go on!” said Keene.

Join Ernie and Antoinette K-Doe, the Emperor and Empress of the Universe, at a special Fourth of July celebration on July 1 at the Rock ‘N’ Bowl ® Café. Ernie will perform and food will be served, and you can get a copy of his immortal image on this year’s OffBeat poster (Ernie will sign ’em for you). Call Mid-City Bowling Lanes for more info: 482-3133.

OffBeat and the House of Blues’ new venue, The Parish, will sponsor “New Orleans Musicians’ Appreciation Night” at The Parish on Wednesday July 19 from 9 p.m. to midnight. If you’re a local musician, come hang, have a few classy hors d’oeuvres and some free beer, and listen to free music. Call Hardy McBee for information on the event or for an invitation at 596-2471.